Article By: Martha Amaro, Contributing Writer

My knees were rattling.

My heart was beating so loudly, I was sure everyone in the room could hear it.

“Lord, please, don’t let them see the sweat stains!,” was the recurrent prayer I whispered over and over to myself.

It was one of those moments in which I seriously questioned my life choices. I was about to present in front of a group of sales professionals who eagerly waited to get value from me!

ME?!?!

I was supposed to help them figure out how to lead their sales conversations in a powerful and authentic way. The girl who was shaking in her boots was expected to deliver an impactful and motivational talk to people with more experience, better track records, and infinitely more impressive portfolios!

“What on earth made me think that I could do this?” “What possessed me to say ‘yes’ to speaking in front of 300 people?” “If I survive this, I will NEVER put myself in this position again!”

You know what it’s like.

You’re faced with the challenge of doing something that makes every sense in your body tingle with dread! You know this THING has the potential to propel you closer to your goals and dreams… If only it wasn’t so terrifying!

“How do people do this?” You ask, as you contemplate the scope of what you’re about to do and wish you could go back and warn your previous self NOT to agree to this.

You have this dream or desire! You KNOW in your heart of hearts that achieving this thing could potentially change your life AND the lives of the people around you!

You WANT this so bad you can taste it!

But, every time you even think of getting started all the FUDs (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) come flooding in.

So, you wait for that all-elusive confidence to appear and give you permission to move.

The biggest problem is that you could LITERALLY be waiting forever to feel confident enough to take the first step.

Fortunately, you don’t have to wait for the right time, massive amounts of confidence, perfection, feeling prepared, or the Easter Bunny to come bearing gifts from the Tooth Fairy as the stars align in order to start doing what you KNOW in your heart you need to do.

There IS a way for you to start RIGHT NOW!

Before I share the SECRET to doing it scared, though, I’d like you to consider a shift in your thinking that has the potential to snap you right out of the apprehension that’s keeping you in inaction.

YOU’RE NOT REALLY SCARED OF DOING THE THING!

Read that sentence again.

You’re NOT really scared of DOING the thing!

Whatever that thing might be (delivering a presentation, making a call, sending the email, having the conversation, asking for the sale, etc.), it’s not doing the thing that causes the fear or apprehension.

See, when I finally started the presentation in front of that audience of sales professionals, the fear didn’t get worse. It actually got progressively better, until it completely disappeared. In fact, once I was finished and walked off the stage, I felt a sense of exhilaration and a new surge of energy.

I was on top of the world, and felt like I could go on forever!

Have you ever noticed that?

Have you ever experienced the feeling of dread PRIOR to doing something only to feel this incredible energy and excitement AFTER the thing is done?

Why is that?

Some might tell you that it’s because you’re experiencing the adrenaline rush of doing something you feared doing. And, there is a bit of a dopamine rush that comes from pushing yourself beyond your perceived limits.

However, there’s an even bigger truth that nobody tells you and it’s this: You were NEVER really afraid of doing the thing in the first place. YOU WERE AFRAID OF THE STORIES YOU TOLD YOURSELF ABOUT DOING THE THING!

The main reason we feel relief while we engage in doing what we’re “afraid” of doing is because our true dread is not in the doing but in all the “what if’s” that we entertain while thinking about doing the thing.

“What if they don’t like me?”
“What if I make a mistake?”
“What if I can’t deliver?”
“What if I fail?

THE SECRET

Once I understood that the true source of my fear wasn’t the act of standing in front of a large audience, but all the nonsense I fed myself about it, it was simple to figure out ways to push past the fear and DO what needed to be done.

The secret to doing it scare is this: CONFIDENCE IS A RESULT NOT A PREREQUISITE!

While the gurus and experts will tell you that confidence will give you the strength and power to follow through and do the thing you’re scared of doing, what none of them tell you is that the only way to create a sense of confidence is TAKING ACTION.

So, you end up scrambling and wondering whether there’s something wrong with you and why you can’t simply be more confident.

Well, I’m here to tell you, my friend, there’s nothing wrong with you! You’ve simply been given information that leads you to approaching this whole thing backwards.

Action and engagement come BEFORE the feeling of confidence. NOT the other way around!

But, the question remains: HOW do I actually take action while still feeling afraid and insecure?

Glad you asked!

TIPS TO EXPERIENCE GREATER CONFIDENCE WHILE YOU GET STARTED

Increase Awareness – Everyone is confident at something, but NOBODY is confident at everything. Get clear on what you want to feel confident around and why. Then, take an honest look at your strengths and weaknesses and at the level of competence you might already be at. Ask:
Why is doing this important to me and those around me?
What have I done before that could help me do this?

Take Inventory – First, take inventory of all the times in which you might’ve felt like you lack the confidence to do something, but did it anyway.Then, write down all the resources that are already at your disposal that could support you in doing this thing: people, books, trainings, mentors, similar skills… (You already have everything you need).
What skills do I need to complete this task? Which do I already have?
Who can help me improve the other needed skills?

Do It NOW! – Confidence is built by DOING! It is a result, NOT a prerequisite. The more action you take, the more you practice the skills, the more you keep your promises to yourself, the more confident you’ll feel.
Do the SCARY things first!
Focus on ONLY one step at a time.

Funny thing about fear: Fear is a bully. Like most bullies, once you face it, it runs away!

I can tell you, giving that presentation, full of fear and with my knees knocking, was the best, most empowering thing I ever did for myself!

What have you been putting off because of fear or uncertainty?

It is time.

Do it scared. Do it NOW!

Marcy Amaro, Speaking and Self-Leadership Coach, and Founder of the Igniter Series, helps heart-centered, contribution-driven, creative entrepreneurs and business owners rediscover themselves and live integrated lives so they can authentically and confidently create truly fulfilled lives and businesses.

After more than 20 years as an educator, Marcy became disillusioned with what she perceived as the death of creativity and uniqueness, and the squelching of pure talent and ability. Recognizing that the effects of this trend extended to leadership in the marketplace, she turned her attention to helping leaders rise to their full potential by differentiating their talents, stories, and abilities. Through her proprietary Impact Igniter Playbook, and Wayfinder Leadership Trainings she has helped her clients land and create transformational impact experiences across the world over the past 12+ years.

Marcy is an international speaker and has been featured on Authority Magazine, and many live and virtual stages including the Puerto Rico Association of Realtors, and ASOPYMES (The Puerto Rican Association of Small and Medium Enterprises). She has shared the stage with the likes of Dr. Shad Helmstetter, Michael Sorensen, Natasha Miller, Lisa A. Romano, and Dr. Zoe Shaw. She is the host of the Sincerely Speaking Podcast and for her expertise has been featured on The Humane Marketing Podcast and Live on Purpose Radio.https://marcyamaro.com/