Article By; Marcy Aramo
Contributing Writer

I LOVE carne mechada (the Hispanic version of beef stew).
I should give you the full recipe sometime!
Prime chunks of beef, carrots, potatoes, celery, cilantro, garlic, onion… I’m telling you! It’s
comfort food at its best!
The problem is that making this dish the traditional way literally takes ALL DAY!
So, for the longest time, I didn’t get to experience the gastronomical joy of this dish unless it was a very special occasion. UNTIL I discovered the power of the pressure cooker!!! Yes, using a pressure cooker can be scary!

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen what happens when the pressure valve fails, but it’s not pretty!
However, getting to enjoy one of my favorite dishes while investing only 30-45 minutes of my
time (as opposed to 5-8 hours!) makes the risk totally worth it!
Sometimes you just have to EMBRACE THE PRESSURE!

The Problem
Unfortunately, most of us are taught to avoid pressure.
We spend so much time and energy trying to figure out how to release the pressure, rather than embrace it.

In my experience this is the most evident when any kind of commitment is involved.
From committing to an appointment time, to a decision we’ve made, to commitment in
relationships… People seem so reluctant these days to make and stick to a commitment.
I understand that there is a higher level of pressure involved once we make a commitment.
“What if it doesn’t work?”
“What if something comes up?”
“What will people think?”
“Will I experience failure?”
“Will I be rejected?”
And, while I understand how scary facing these questions can be, I have also witnessed how the non-committal attitude that comes from trying to avoid pressure can negatively impact our abilities to lead ourselves and others to the best possible outcomes.

Why is the leadership vacuum so evident in our communities, businesses, social organizations,and government?
For one thing, this notion that we need to avoid pressure, that somehow pressure is bad, has lead to a generalized lack of commitment that hinders leadership.

It’s impossible to lead from the middle of the road!

There has to be a commitment to an ideal, a stance, a cause, an outcome, or a mission before
anyone can lead effectively. But, under the guise of “open mindedness” and “authenticity” we
have accepted and embraced so-called leaders that toe the line between issues, change their
minds more often that they do shirts, and confuse the masses with watered-down pandering.
What’s worse, we’ve come to model this kind of approach in our own lives and businesses.
“I’ll try” has replaced “I will” and “It didn’t work” has supplanted “what’s next?”
Lack of commitment is becoming a pervasive and dangerous epidemic that is keeping 99% of the
population living in complacency and dissatisfaction.

Understanding Commitment

Before we go any further, let’s make sure we’re clear on what commitment is, and most
importantly, what it’s not!

Commitment is NOT a goal. A goal is a target we set for ourselves or our organization. While
goals are necessary and helpful in helping us establish priorities and the general direction in which we focus our efforts, goals and commitment are not the same thing.
How many goals have you set that you did not reach? I mean, I get it, I have done the same many times. If goals and commitments were synonymous we would reach every single one of them, withoutexception.
A commitment is also not a wish or a desire. By definition wishes and desires are both illusions based on hope and imagination. While there is NOTHING wrong with using your imagination and having hope for bigger, better, and nicer, wishing and desiring don’t lead to action until there is a more powerful commitment behind them.
Finally, a commitment is not A choice.

When we look at “a” choice, we’re contemplating one option among many. We’re looking at a
menu of possibilities and each individual item is “a” choice.

So, what IS commitment?

Commitment is THE choice one makes to bring certainty, faithful attention, and determination
to a specific and deliberate outcome.
In other words, a commitment is THE ONLY option or choice. It is the FIRMEST, MOST
UNWAVERING decision one can make. It brings CERTAINTY to a situation and removes any
back door.

Fear of Commitment
Looking at that definition, it makes perfect sense why someone might be afraid of commitment
and avoid it at all cost.
First, there’s a LOT of pressure around choosing the “right” thing, person, cause, or venture to commit to. After all, if we’re talking about removing and cutting away all other possibilities, we BETTER be sure we’re picking the right one!
Second, there’s an even greater pressure when we think about others finding out about this
commitment. What will they think? What if we fail? Will people reject or oppose what we stand for?
Finally, there’s a lot of pressure around the accountability and responsibility that come with fully committing to an outcome, a relationship, or a cause. Once we make the commitment, then we are responsible for taking action and moving in the direction of fulfilling that to which we have committed.

YES! It’s A LOT OF PRESSURE!
The Reward of Commitment
However, as big as the pressure and fear might seem, the rewards of full commitment are so
much greater!

Have you ever been at a mall or an airport and suddenly someone comes walking past you with
such determination that people are literally clearing a path to let them by?
THAT is what commitment looks like!
When you’re fully committed to something, your actions, attitude, thinking, and communication reflect that determination!
Making a firm commitment, clarifies your direction. Awareness is more than half of the battle.
And when you’ve made a firm commitment, you can clearly see the direction in which you get to get a clearer sense of when you’re headed in the right direction and how to correct when you’re not. The determination that comes with commitment also allows you to remove obstacles that might get in the way. In fact, as in the illustration of the person at the mall or airport, obstacles will often get out of the way once you’ve determined that nothing’s gonna keep you from reaching your destination.

Want to shorten the time it gets to reach your destination? A firm commitment streamlines
decision-making and facilitates forward movement.
Not only that but as you keep your commitments you will notice a tremendous increase in your
sense of confidence.
What’s perhaps most important is that making and keeping commitments creates a path for
others to follow. As those around you notice the change in you and see that you’re in it for the long haul, it will give them permission and inspiration to do the same!

OK, But HOW?
In the simplest of terms, making a real commitment requires 2 basic ingredients: a destination,and pressure!
DECIDE today what you stand for, and create an environment of accountability.
Not sure where to start? I can help! marcy@marcyamaro.co